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Postcard #4 - California - Songs for a Soft Heart
2012
The desert. The vast lands.
In fact I am already back home in the city,
and yet the silence of those Californian
wastelands doesn‘t cease to resonate in
me. I walk through Germany‘s dull winter
days, still dragging a faint notion of those
vivid, flawless skies along, and still pretend
to feel the dusty heat as I am wrapped up
and my scarf is sparkling with the frozen
drips of condensed breath.
And there is more I can‘t let go of yet. And
days get heavy as the new year rolls in,
dark and dull and full of disappointment.
I am weak and aching, turn into a ghost
of retrospection, tired of dragging on the
yearning for a far place and lost love like
a dead limb. Fail to drown my woes in
black ink and in chlorine water. Curl up
into a ball, awaiting to implode.
Then suddenly I find myself in someone‘s
kitchen, playing a weird instrument he
brought from South America, and as I
leave I hear: ‚hey, by the way, I brought
this one for you. - This might have been
the greatest gift ever received; a scissor
to cut loose my inner knot, evoke the
memories of my journey and to cast that
winter‘s demons into sound and song,
just when I needed to.
Those demons have been hidden well
and sleeping now for almost two years,
but it‘s high time to release them; They‘re
not scary anymore.
Cologne/California, January 2011
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